How
to Survive a Long Distance Relationship
by Dr. Alan Fuller
Are you stressing out over your long distance relationship? I've been
dealing with one of those myself for the past several months, so I know the
painful issues some of us face with a long distance relationship. They can
be extremely stressful on your personal wellness, given that all of us are
human. And what's more, failing one of you uprooting everything to move in
together all of a sudden, there are three very important things you can do
to continue to build upon what you've already got. In some instances, these
three actions can even make your long distance relationship improve
drastically. So what are they? Simply these: trust, share, communicate.
Trust is the number one must, period. With long distance relationships, some
of us can become very paranoid and insecure. We may tend to pick up little
"clues" that aren't really clues at all. Based upon our past experiences, we
can think our partner is unhappy, bored, cheating, or all three. We may
begin to believe that we are inadequate, and that our love done is really
secretly longing for the arms of another. The list of our thoughts and fears
could go on and on for ages to come. But that's just it: they are (more than
likely) just fears. But you have to realize that your partner isn't acting
out anything based upon your past experiences. In other words, he/she is
most likely not cheating, simply because it's a fear that you have, not a
desire that your partner has. Your partner is not those people from your
past who may have caused you that harm, and I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate
being equated with such low-lives. Instead of being paranoid, insecure, or
feeling inadequate, communicate your need for reassurance with your partner.
Be honest. We all have needs, whether we admit it or not, and if they go
unmet, you may be the one to end up unhappy, bored, cheating, or all three.
Those fears will decrease over time if you'll simply begin to share them,
and work through those issues with a loving, understanding partner. As you
build upon your trust in each other, your distrust will gradually disappear.
Take turns traveling. And I don't really just mean with traveling here. I
mean share all of the expenses that you can share. If you and your partner
only see each other on weekends, then, for example, take turns traveling to
visit one another. Of course, this needs to be a "rule" that is not set in
stone, that is adaptable to situations and circumstances as they arise
(sometimes we have unexpected bills that pop up). Use your own inner wisdom
and good decision-making skills to compromise with each other on this one.
It shows the both of you that the other is willing to make sacrifices, to
meet the other halfway, thus proving to both your subconscious minds that
you are very committed to each other. This, in itself, can increase your
trust for one another, as well, over time, and also reduces the financial
risk that the two of you are taking. It will allow you two to share the
expenses equally (or thereabouts). And that only serves to reinforce the
idea of commitment in both your subconscious minds.
Stay in touch. Communicate. Because you aren't living together, per se, it
may take a bit longer to build this relationship. Rest assured, it'll pay
off in the end. But do keep in touch. My Sweetheart and I talk at least once
per day, because we live one-and-a-half hours from each other, and we share
footing the long distance phone bill. It's necessary to communicate in any
relationship, but it's more important for your long distance relationship.
It's a basic principle of any relationship that leaves little room for
exception in the long distance relationship. This, simply because the action
of staying in touch regularly will reinforce your trust for each other, and
keep feelings of inadequacy and dishonesty at bay.
Don't underestimate the power of relationship basics. Given that you're in a
long distance relationship, these basics may have to be multiplied
exponentially, and require more effort on both your parts. But no matter how
much you multiply them, the basics still remain the same.
As I finished up this article, I've been working through my own issues with
my Sweetheart. We are surviving the long distance relationship for three
reasons: one, we are working through my trust issues, and I'm learning to
feel a lot less inadequate; two, we share as much of the expenses as is
feasible for each of our situations; and, three, we communicate regularly.
I'm not afraid at all to let my Sweetheart know exactly how I feel about any
given situation that arises. And he's usually very understanding and allays
my fears and inadequacies. End the stress of your long distance relationship
by not neglecting to multiply the basics.
Dr. Alan Fuller may be contacted at http://www.alanfuller.com/
alan@alanfuller.com
Dr. Alan E. Fuller works with ordinary people who are dissatisfied and/or
frustrated with their current reality. Using his gift for tapping into
Divine Consciousness, his talent for clear communication, and his personal
background of advanced in-depth spiritual studies, Dr. Alan helps his
Clients by assisting them in laying a spiritual foundation that leads them
into extraordinary lives. For free information and free gifts, visit his
site at http://www.AlanFuller.com/
today. |
